Symptoms associated with personality disorders often manifest during childhood, but there is no consensus related to diagnoses of the paediatric population. Children may exhibit a syndrome characterised by behavioural problems, mood and anxiety disorders, and cognitive impairment. Some researchers describe this syndrome as “borderline” because the symptoms often resemble those experienced by adults with borderline personality disorder; however, the disease progression is not so clear as children may go on to develop a wide range of personality disorders, sometimes including borderline personality disorder but not always. Children with these symptoms often share the same types of exposure to neglect and physical and sexual abuse, suggesting a similar causal relationship. Some researchers use the term multiple complex developmental disorder to describe this syndrome. There is some evidence that girls with borderline traits tend to develop affective disorders while boys tend to develop dyscontrol syndromes and alcohol or substance abuse. By adolescence, those who will go on to be diagnosed with borderline personality disorder as adults already exhibit similar behaviour patterns, so diagnosis can probably be established during adolescence. However, when it is the parent who has BPD there are many factors that can affect children.
The Impact of BPD on Parenting
Emotional Instability: Parents with BPD often struggle with regulating their emotions, leading to frequent and intense mood swings. This emotional instability can create a chaotic home environment, leaving children unsure of what to expect and affecting their sense of security.
Impulsivity: Impulsive behaviours, such as sudden changes in plans, spending sprees, or reckless actions, can disrupt family routines and stability. Children may find it challenging to feel safe and grounded in such an unpredictable environment.
Interpersonal Relationships: BPD often involves intense and unstable relationships. A parent’s turbulent relationships with partners, friends, or even the child can lead to an atmosphere of tension and conflict, affecting the child’s emotional well-being.
Effects on Children
Emotional Development: Growing up with a parent who has BPD can hinder a child’s emotional development. The child might struggle to understand and regulate their own emotions, often mirroring the emotional volatility they witness at home.
Behavioural Issues: Children may exhibit behavioural problems such as aggression, defiance, or withdrawal. These behaviours can be a response to the stress and confusion caused by their parent’s unpredictable actions and emotional outbursts.
Cognitive Impact: The constant stress and potential lack of a supportive environment can impact a child’s cognitive development, leading to difficulties in concentration, academic performance, and problem-solving skills.
Social Challenges: Children of parents with BPD might find it hard to form and maintain healthy relationships with peers. They may have trust issues or struggle with social interactions due to the instability and conflict they experience at home.
Coping Mechanisms for Children
Support Systems: Having a robust support system is crucial. Extended family, friends, and community resources can provide stability and a sense of normalcy for the child.
Therapy and Counselling: Professional help is essential. Play therapy, family therapy, and individual counselling can help children process their emotions and develop healthy coping mechanisms. Therapy can also help parents learn better ways to manage their symptoms and improve family dynamics.
Educational Support: Schools can play a vital role in supporting children affected by BPD. Educators should be aware of the child’s home situation and offer additional support, such as counselling services and academic accommodations, to help the child succeed.
Strategies for Parents with BPD
Seeking Treatment: It is crucial for parents with BPD to seek professional help. Therapy, medication, and support groups can make a significant difference in managing symptoms and improving parenting skills.
Building a Support Network: Creating a stable and supportive environment is essential. Relying on a network of friends, family, and community resources can help provide consistency and support for both the parent and the child.
Healthy Communication: Improving communication within the family can alleviate some of the tensions caused by BPD. Techniques such as active listening, expressing emotions healthily, and setting clear boundaries can help create a more harmonious household.
Borderline Personality Disorder can significantly impact children, affecting their emotional, behavioural, and social development. However, with the right support and strategies, families can overcome these challenges. If you or someone you know is affected by BPD, it is essential to seek help, educate yourself, and support one another. Together, we can create a more understanding and supportive environment for those affected by this complex disorder.
