Historically, it was believed that borderline personality disorder (BPD) affected more women than men. However, recent peer-reviewed studies indicate that the prevalence of BPD is roughly equal among both genders. Yet, the manifestation of the disorder and the resulting perceptions by family and friends differ significantly between men and women. Men with BPD are often misdiagnosed with antisocial personality disorder or substance abuse problems, which can delay accurate diagnosis and treatment.
Carter’s Journey Through BPD
Carter’s experience in therapy was transformative. Seated in the comforting environment of his therapist’s office, he began to trust and open up about his struggles despite his initial resistance. His therapist’s persistent support made it possible for him to explore his turbulent past and relationships. Carter’s pattern of quickly diving into intense relationships was a hallmark of his BPD. Initially idealizing his partners, he soon felt deceived as the relationships’ flaws emerged, which led to destructive breakups and reckless infidelities.
His violent outbursts had severe consequences, including police interventions. Deeply remorseful after such incidents, Carter’s threats of suicide highlighted his profound fear of abandonment—a core aspect of BPD. His therapy sessions helped him link his current behaviours to a childhood marked by his mother’s inconsistent and volatile affection and his father’s early departure. His mother, a once-celebrated actress, left a void with her own tragic suicide.
The Connection Between BPD and Aggressive Behaviour
BPD is often associated with self-harm and, as recent research suggests, a propensity towards aggression, particularly in men. This link might stem from the high rate of comorbid conditions among individuals with BPD, as noted in findings from the NIMH-funded National Comorbidity Survey. About 85% of those with BPD also suffer from other mental illnesses such as depression, anxiety disorders, bipolar disorder, substance use, or antisocial personality disorder, the latter two being particularly prevalent in men and often linked to violent behaviours.
Toward Healing and Understanding BPD
BPD was once viewed as a hopeless diagnosis. Today, it’s considered one with a promising prognosis, thanks to advancements in therapeutic techniques and a deeper understanding of the disorder. The challenges of BPD, which often stem from early abandonment or trauma, can be mitigated by embracing a survivor’s stance rather than succumbing to victimhood.
Men with BPD, who may struggle with impulsivity and aggression, find that they can develop a sense of calm and self-awareness. Recognizing that others cannot abandon them in the way they feared as children allows them to find stability within themselves. BPD significantly impacts not just those diagnosed but also their close relationships. However, with a commitment to recovery, individuals can alter destructive patterns and achieve lasting wellness.
