When it comes to judgment issues people with BPD seemingly have almost no self-control. When you judge people you don’t always need to be the jury and executioner as well. You can simply notice someone or something is bad without laying down your own moral law onto it. This might sound wordy and a complex way of thinking, but it is easier to do than you might think. One of the worst things those with BPD do is to be the Judge Jury and Executioner on themselves…
When you sadly believe that your poor mental health is a sign of weakness or that you should be able to control it often prevents you from seeking the help and advice you so badly need. But how do we remove this judgment about ourselves and others? After all, we can’t move forward with things if all you do is keep pushing back! Let us consider what happens when we pass judgment on those we know. We see something they do and bad and get angry at it, or feel disappointed in their actions. But we never stop for a moment to understand WHY they did that thing in the first place.
Sadly the truth is this is way easier said than done and it requires a level of self-awareness many of us don’t think is possible. But judgment is not a switch, you don’t have to always judge people or not judge them. Just for once, you could try not to be so hard on yourself about something. Did you mess up at school, work or college? Then notice that error and move on with your life. Everyone and I mean EVERYONE in life has made at least some mistakes, but most people who have that judgmental axe hanging over their own heads about it. Some of the most successful people in life will often tell you to learn from your mistakes and move on. Let us practice this with the image below…
Why you can be the Judge Jury and Executioner here and say “Bad Dog” for breaking the blind, if you stop for a moment and observe what is really going on here you could also think to yourself “Maybe the dog was just chasing something and got caught up in the blind chasing a fly or bee?”, or “maybe the dog was chasing someone away from the property!” or maybe “The dog clearly needs some sort of clear viewpoint so it can see its owner coming home and get excited without trashing a blind”. You can look at this image in a number of ways without being judgmental and just about anyone can do this. So why is it so hard to think you can’t do this with your own life?
It doesn’t matter who you are, all us humans can benefit from not being so judgmental. You are never going to stop all forms of judgment from happening, but some of the time you do have the space to step back for a moment and think of things from a different perspective. just try to remember to try and do this at least once a day and you can soon turn a thought into a daily habit.
This Week’s Homework: This weeks homework will seem a little weird at first, but there is a point to it. What I would like you to do is to get hold of some colouring pens or pencils and find a child’s colouring book. Pick an image that you have clear colours for already like a bee, a flower, or a zebra and colour in the image. Only, before you start remove ALL the colours you had in your mind’s eye. So if you pick a picture of a bee remove the black and yellow (maybe the red as well if you think the flower would be that colour). The reason I want you to do this is once you are finished colouring in your image you will notice how colourful and beautiful it looks in different colours (like my own above). When you don’t judge the images on the way it should have been, you have turned it into something much more wonderful. Try this yourself and you will soon notice the feelings inside of you that I am trying to release.
