Wanting to feel better or at least semi-normal is a big part of the road to recovery. But much like the small child in the back of the car on the way to the beach who constantly asks “Are we there yet?” your own patience will soon wear thin. So today we are going to try and look for small changes within you that might show signs of recovery. Obviously, this is something that is far easier in real life with a one on one session, but there are ways to see changes within yourself…
Can you believe it has already been 22 weeks of these self-help guides? While I normally write more than one of these each week I do hope you are following along with them weekly rather than trying to cram them all in, in a shorter space of time. To be honest with you, it doesn’t matter if you are, but what does matter is how much effort you are putting into each page. The more you read and understand each page the easier things will get when it comes to controlling your thoughts and emotions. Sometimes the homework I set for you will seem pointless and irrelevant, but there really is a point to all of it as it has been designed to target the main symptoms of BPD. You might not feel anything is changing about you, but if you take a deeper look you might be surprised…
If you are asking yourself? “Am I cured?” you are not going to get the answer you are looking for. With BPD especially you might never be fully “cured” but you can learn to gain control of your thoughts and emotions which these self-help pages are trying to teach you. So what are you looking for when it comes to signs you are feeling a little better? If you are at least thinking about how you could have handled past mistakes or outbursts you can consider yourself starting to feel the benefits of DBT.
It is the small things you need to consider big wins especially when you have BPD. So walking away from an argument, or not rage-texting someone when they fail to reply immediately. Even if you only do these things once in a while, you can consider them as signs that things are getting better. After all, it has taken years to get into the state you are currently in and sadly it will take a good while to change things, that is what DBT courses are always 52 sessions or 1 year of therapy. Many of my clients with BPD have been coming to me for years and still come for monthly sessions even when they will tell you they are more in control of their lives than they ever have been.
You should never be hard on yourself for not feeling better. Celebrate those little victories over your emotions and thoughts. See them as signs that you are indeed slowly gaining control. As we approach the halfway mark in this series of self-help guides you should know that we still have a long way to go. A year-long journey (52 weeks) is a long time to keep asking yourself “Are we there yet?” so maybe a little patience really is the order of the day.
This Week’s Homework: What I would like you to do this week is to try and give yourself some time away from all forms of social media. Even if you can do this for a single day you will feel the benefits from it. A recent study suggests knocking social media use down to just 30 minutes per day can lead to increased mental health and well-being. So what would a single day without it feel like!? Even if you fail your own social media detox please tell me how you felt in the comments below as it will be interesting to know.
