Keisha’s demeanour never screamed for attention; instead, she embraced the role of an observer and a listener, often mistaken for shyness. Her reserved nature belied the intensity of her emotions and the depth of her relationships, which she held dear beyond measure. Though she seldom ventured to express herself openly, when she did, it was with wholehearted commitment. However, while endearing, her sensitivity rendered her vulnerable to the slightest disappointment, casting a shadow over her potential for happiness. Keisha’s emotional landscape was fraught with intense reactivity.
Unlike the stereotypical image of borderline personality disorder (BPD), Keisha’s turmoil rarely erupted into outward displays of rage or tantrums. Instead, her distress manifested in quiet, cutting remarks or silent withdrawal. In her moments of seclusion, her emotions turned murky and oppressive, plunging her into episodes of profound depression followed by a sense of existential desolation. Swiftly, these emotions morphed into anger and resentment, a chaotic whirlwind Keisha struggled to contain. Resorting to a coping mechanism learned from her high school days; she found solace in the searing pain of a curling iron against her skin—an external manifestation of the tumult within, a tangible anchor in the storm.
By the age of 22, Keisha found herself adrift, unemployed, and residing with her mother. Her aspirations for higher education were overshadowed by paralyzing fear. The prospect of navigating the complexities of the outside world seemed daunting, leaving her tethered to the familiar comforts of home. Her social circle dwindled to neighbours, her mother’s acquaintances and her once-close high school friends were reduced to distant memories. Even with her mother and the neighbour, Ms Helen, communication remained a struggle for Keisha.
The Enigma of ‘Quiet’ Borderline
The term “quiet borderline” encapsulates a unique manifestation of borderline personality disorder (BPD), one often overlooked in mainstream discourse. While the conventional portrayal of BPD revolves around outward displays of emotional turmoil, the “quiet” variant manifests through internalised struggles, termed “acting in.” Rather than outwardly expressing negative emotions, individuals with this subtype internalise their hostility and distress, concealing the depth of their anguish from those around them. Consequently, even the individuals themselves may be hesitant to acknowledge the possibility of a BPD diagnosis, as they may not exhibit the overt behaviours commonly associated with the disorder.
Those with “quiet” BPD grapple with a profound sense of isolation and disconnect from the external world. Their efforts to rationalise and suppress their unstable emotions often culminate in self-destructive tendencies, both psychological and, at times, physical. Oscillating between fleeting moments of confidence and bouts of self-loathing, they navigate an internal landscape fraught with inconsistency—a hallmark trait shared with individuals across the BPD spectrum. However, what sets apart those with “quiet” BPD is their propensity to shield this emotional turmoil from their loved ones, fostering a cycle of debilitating isolation.
In conclusion, the concept of the “quiet” borderline personality sheds light on a nuanced manifestation of BPD, one characterised by internalised struggles and silent suffering. By recognising and understanding this variant, we can foster greater empathy and support for individuals navigating the intricate complexities of their emotional landscapes.
