NAMI stands for “the National Alliance on Mental Illness” and it is one of the United States largest grassroots mental health organizations dedicated to building better lives for people lists the 9 following signs and symptoms of BPD and this list is in accordance with The DSM (Fifth Edition) which stands for the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, which clinicians rely on for diagnosis. Here are the most up-to-date and professional guidance on those BPD signs and symptoms…
- Frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment by friends and family.
- Unstable personal relationships that alternate between idealization (“I’m so in love!”) and devaluation (“I hate her”). This is also sometimes known as “splitting.”
- Distorted and unstable self-image, which affects moods, values, opinions, goals, and relationships.
- Impulsive behaviours that can have dangerous outcomes, such as excessive spending, unsafe sex, substance abuse, or reckless driving.
- Self-harming behaviour including suicidal threats or attempts.
- Periods of intense depressed mood, irritability, or anxiety lasting a few hours to a few days.
- Chronic feelings of boredom or emptiness.
- Inappropriate, intense, or uncontrollable anger — often followed by shame and guilt.
- Dissociative feelings — disconnecting from your thoughts or sense of identity or “out of body” type of feelings — and stress-related paranoid thoughts. Severe cases of stress can also lead to brief psychotic episodes.
It goes without saying that the symptoms and signs of BPD can vary from person to person, but these are the more common among a large study group. Let’s go into a little more depth about each one and why someone might be suffering in this way.
(Side Note: Just because you recognise some of these signs and symptoms within yourself doesn’t mean you should self-diagnose yourself with BPD. Only a professional person like a psychologist can do that but if you do relate to some of them you should seek professional help and guidance on that said matter)
Frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment
There are many reasons why people with BPD might suffer from “frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment by friends and family.” Some possible reasons include:
A history of trauma: People with BPD often have a history of trauma, such as abuse or neglect. This can lead to a fear of abandonment, as they may believe that they are not worthy of love or that they will be left alone if they are not perfect.
A lack of trust: People with BPD often have difficulty trusting others. They may believe that others will leave them or abandon them, even if there is no evidence to support this belief.
An intense fear of rejection: People with BPD often have an intense fear of rejection. They may feel like they are not good enough or that they will not be accepted by others. This can lead to them avoiding relationships or being overly clingy in relationships.
A fear of being alone: People with BPD often have a fear of being alone. They may feel like they need others to survive or that they will not be able to cope on their own. This can lead to them being overly dependent on others or being afraid to leave relationships.
Unstable personal relationships
People with borderline personality disorder (BPD) often have unstable personal relationships that alternate between idealization and devaluation. This can be due to a number of factors, including:
Fear of abandonment: People with BPD often have a fear of abandonment, which can lead them to idealize their partners and relationships. This can make them feel secure and loved. However, when their partners inevitably disappoint them, they may devalue them and the relationship. This can lead to feelings of anger, hurt, and loneliness.
Lack of trust: People with BPD often have difficulty trusting others, which can make it difficult for them to maintain healthy relationships. They may believe that their partners will leave them or abandon them, even if there is no evidence to support this belief. This can lead them to push their partners away, which can damage the relationship.
Impulsivity: People with BPD often have impulsive behaviours, which can also damage relationships. They may say or do things without thinking about the consequences, which can hurt their partners. This can make it difficult for their partners to trust them or to feel safe around them.
Poor communication skills: People with BPD often have poor communication skills, which can also damage relationships. They may have difficulty expressing their needs and wants, which can lead to misunderstandings and conflict. They may also have difficulty listening to their partners, which can make it difficult for them to understand each other’s needs and wants.
Distorted and unstable self-image
People with borderline personality disorder (BPD) often have a distorted and unstable self-image. This means that they may have a hard time seeing themselves accurately and may feel like they are not good enough. They may also feel like they are constantly changing and that they don’t know who they are. There are a number of reasons why people with BPD may have a distorted and unstable self-image. Some of these reasons include:
Trauma: People with BPD often have a history of trauma, such as abuse or neglect. This can lead to them feeling like they are not safe or that they are not worthy of love.
Genetics: There is some evidence that BPD may be genetic. This means that people who have a family history of BPD may be more likely to develop it themselves.
Environmental factors: Environmental factors, such as growing up in a chaotic or abusive home, can also contribute to the development of BPD.
Impulsive behaviours
People with borderline personality disorder (BPD) often engage in impulsive behaviours. These behaviours can include:
- Spending sprees: People with BPD may spend money impulsively, even if they don’t have the money to spend.
- Drug and alcohol use: People with BPD may use drugs or alcohol impulsively, even if they know that it will make their symptoms worse.
- Sexual promiscuity: People with BPD may engage in sexual activity impulsively, even if they don’t want to have sex.
- Self-harm: People with BPD may engage in self-harm behaviours, such as cutting or burning themselves.
- Suicide attempts: People with BPD may make suicide attempts impulsively, even if they don’t want to die.
There are a number of reasons why people with BPD may engage in impulsive behaviours. Some of these reasons include:
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- Emotional instability: People with BPD often experience intense emotions, such as anger, sadness, and anxiety. These emotions can be so overwhelming that people with BPD may feel like they need to do something to relieve the pressure.
- Fear of abandonment: People with BPD often have a fear of abandonment, which can lead them to do things to prevent being abandoned. This may include impulsive behaviours, such as spending money or engaging in risky sexual activity.
- Lack of self-control: People with BPD often have difficulty controlling their impulses. This can lead them to engage in behaviours that they may not want to do.
Self-harming
People with borderline personality disorder (BPD) often engage in self-harming behaviours. Self-harm is when someone intentionally hurts themselves without the intent to die. Self-harming behaviours can include:
- Cutting
- Burning
- Hitting
- Scratching
- Overdosing on medication
- Eating disorders
There are a number of reasons why people with BPD may engage in self-harming behaviours. Some of these reasons include:
- Emotional pain: People with BPD often experience intense emotions, such as anger, sadness, and anxiety. These emotions can be so overwhelming that people with BPD may feel like they need to do something to relieve the pressure. Self-harm can be a way for people with BPD to numb their emotional pain.
- Feeling numb: Self-harm can also be a way for people with BPD to feel something. People with BPD often feel numb or empty inside. Self-harm can be a way for them to feel something, even if it is pain.
- Attention-seeking: Some people with BPD engage in self-harming behaviours as a way to get attention. They may feel like they are not getting the attention they need from others, so they may self-harm as a way to get attention.
- Punishment: Some people with BPD engage in self-harming behaviours as a way to punish themselves. They may feel like they deserve to be punished for something they have done. Self-harm can be a way for people with BPD to punish themselves.
Periods of intense depression
People with borderline personality disorder (BPD) often experience periods of intense depressed mood. This can be due to a number of factors, including:
- Emotional instability: People with BPD often experience intense emotions, such as anger, sadness, and anxiety. These emotions can be so overwhelming that people with BPD may feel like they are in a constant state of depression.
- Feelings of worthlessness: People with BPD often feel worthless and undeserving of love or happiness. This can lead to feelings of depression.
- Fear of abandonment: People with BPD often have a fear of abandonment, which can lead to feelings of depression.
- Stressful life events: People with BPD may experience stressful life events, such as the death of a loved one or a job loss. These events can trigger a period of depression.
- Genetics: There is some evidence that BPD may be genetic. This means that people who have a family history of BPD may be more likely to develop it themselves.
Chronic feelings of boredom or emptiness
People with borderline personality disorder (BPD) often suffer from chronic feelings of boredom or emptiness. This is because people with BPD have a hard time feeling connected to themselves and others. They may feel like they are constantly searching for something to fill the void, but nothing seems to satisfy them. This can lead to feelings of boredom, emptiness, and loneliness.
There are a number of reasons why people with BPD may feel this way. Some of these reasons include:
- Emotional instability: People with BPD often experience intense emotions, such as anger, sadness, and anxiety. These emotions can be so overwhelming that people with BPD may feel like they are on a constant roller coaster. This can make it difficult for them to feel anything else, including happiness or contentment.
- Identity disturbance: People with BPD often have a hard time figuring out who they are or what they want in life. This can lead to feelings of emptiness and boredom.
- Fear of abandonment: People with BPD often have a fear of abandonment, which can lead them to push people away. This can make it difficult for them to form close relationships, which can contribute to feelings of boredom and emptiness.
Inappropriate, intense, or uncontrollable anger
People with borderline personality disorder (BPD) often suffer from inappropriate, intense, or uncontrollable anger. This anger can be triggered by a variety of things, including:
- Feelings of abandonment: People with BPD often have a fear of abandonment, which can lead to them feeling angry when they feel like someone is leaving them or not meeting their needs.
- Feelings of rejection: People with BPD often have a hard time dealing with rejection, which can lead to them feeling angry when they perceive that someone is rejecting them.
- Feelings of frustration: People with BPD often have a hard time dealing with frustration, which can lead to them feeling angry when they are unable to achieve their goals or when things don’t go their way.
- Feelings of guilt: People with BPD often feel guilty about things that they have done or said, which can lead to them feeling angry when they are reminded of their guilt.
Anger is a normal emotion, but it can be difficult to manage when it is intense or uncontrollable. If you are struggling with anger, there are a number of things you can do to try to manage it, such as:
- Identify your triggers: Once you know what triggers your anger, you can start to avoid those things or learn how to deal with them in a healthy way.
- Learn how to communicate your anger: It is important to learn how to communicate your anger in a healthy way. This means being able to express your anger without being aggressive or hurtful.
- Learn how to manage your emotions: It is also important to learn how to manage your emotions in general. This means being able to identify your emotions, understand them, and deal with them in a healthy way.
- Get professional help: If you are struggling to manage your anger, it is important to get professional help. A therapist can help you to understand your anger and develop healthy coping mechanisms.
Dissociative feelings
Dissociation is a mental process where a person disconnects from themselves and the world around them. People with dissociative disorders experience a disconnection from their thoughts, feelings, memories, or sense of identity. Dissociation can be caused by a number of things, including:
- Trauma: People who experience trauma, such as abuse or neglect, are more likely to develop dissociative disorders.
- Genetics: There is some evidence that dissociative disorders may be genetic.
- Environmental factors: Environmental factors, such as growing up in a chaotic or abusive home, can also contribute to the development of dissociative disorders.
There are a number of different types of dissociative disorders, including:
- Dissociative amnesia: People with dissociative amnesia have a sudden and unexpected inability to remember important personal information, such as their name, address, or phone number.
- Dissociative fugue: People with dissociative fugue have a sudden and unexpected travels away from home without any memory of their past.
- Dissociative identity disorder: People with dissociative identity disorder (DID) have two or more distinct identities or personalities that take control of their behavior.
- Depersonalization disorder: People with depersonalization disorder feel like they are detached from their own body or that the world around them is not real.
Dissociation can be a very distressing experience. People who experience dissociation may feel like they are going crazy or that they are losing control of their mind. They may also feel like they are not in their own body or that the world around them is not real.
It is important to note that not all people with BPD will experience all of these symptoms. The severity and frequency of the symptoms can vary from person to person. If you are concerned that you or someone you know may be suffering from BPD, it is important to seek professional help. You can also help yourself by getting in touch with us via the contact us page, or chat with us on social media.
